IN Keeping With The Styles

Hey guys, wut up?





See you, I guess.

Livejournal,

Hey, how's it going? Great! Yeah, I know, it's been a while. Actually, I've been meaning to have this talk with you for a while. I guess I just had to work up the courage.

Look, you can't deny that things just haven't been the same between you and me lately. Long months of frigid silences, the incessant guilt-trips, the lackluster posts. I know, the posts, that's my bad. I'll go ahead and shoulder the blame for that one.

No, we were great together! I never said we weren't great together, once. But now, whenever we get together, it's like a formality, an outdated custom neither of us really wants to go through with. You know this, Livejournal! Maybe even better than I do. Life just kind of... got in the way. We have other obligations, we met new people, I have a Math SL paper to finish. You know? Stuff like that.

I'm not breaking up with you, per say. Maybe I'm just braking up with you. Slowing it down a bit, you know? Give us a chance to go our separate ways, maybe see other websites, let people get to know us apart. And who's to say that, someday in the distant future, we won't be back together, the same kooky duo we always were? LJ & LJ, partners in crime. But we can't play this game anymore, it's not fair to either of us. Maybe we could do a little posting on the side every now and then. I mean, if you're up for the whole friends-with-benefits thing. I don't know, think about it. You don't have to answer right now.

So, I guess this is it. It's been fun, hasn't it? I mean, one for the grandkids. And we'll always have the archives. I know, I've had other blogs. But you will always have a special place in my bookmarks, sandwiched right there in between Facebook and Wikipedia. No tears, all right? This is what's best for both of us.

See ya around, Livejournal.

- paskettios (Lara J.)

When I was little and I used to draw myself as I would be in the future. I always made myself have REALLY long, silky hair, and I wore high heels, and I also usually had a pet monkey. I was never doing calculus homework.


Now I am old and my hair is shorter than it was then. I don't wear high heels because I did not grow out of my clumsiness, I only grew monstrously taller thereby making my accidents more dangerous to passers by. I don't even have a pet monkey.


I don't get integrals! :[

So apparently, B & D got to the party and they were definitely the only kids dressed up, except for this one kid who went as an "80's girl". Sadly, she changed out of her costume, which was basically tights and a high ponytail, 5 minutes in.





LOL


LOL



LOL

Got told today by Random Asian Sophomore #479 that I was the whitest person he'd ever seen. My initial reaction was uproarious offense, then uncertainty, and then I experienced a mild identity crisis. The whitest person ever? That's pretty significant. I mean, if someone came up to you and told you that you were the tallest person they'd ever seen, you would know that you were pretty freaking tall, leaning towards monstrously tall. Guys, my skin tone is leaning towards monstrously white.

I should have asked him to quantify his statement. Like, including people on TV? What about in cartoons, or commercials. Ghosts? Maybe this was a particularly unworldly sophomore who had never before stepped outside the confines of Asia-town. Maybe I just happened to be the first Caucasian person he'd ever seen. He probably said the same thing to 70 other people later that day. Yeah. Yeaaaah.

I always knew I was pretty pale, but I never thought of it as my defining physical trait. Like, the Buddha is to chubby as Lara is to:

a) cool
b) smart
c) great
d) horrifically deficient in skin pigmentation

It also bothered me that he was allowed to say this. If I went up to Wesley Snipes and told him he was the blackest person I'd ever seen (he is. he's so cool.), what would happen to me?

Some open ended questions:

Why is "white" a synonym to "uncool"? Because all white people are uncool is not an acceptable response.
What is the future of race relations in these United States?
Why would someone leave a whole onion floating in the toilet of a public restroom, as they did yesterday in the bathroom on the first floor near the physics room?
What color would you describe your skin as? Use as many delicious adjectives as possible. I chose "Shimmer Pink Frosting with Chocolate Sprinkles"

• Michael J. Fox
  
  
• Voltaire
  
  
• Every The Beatles
  
  
• Albert Einstein
  
  
• Christian Bale
  
  
• Gandhi
  
  
• Brandy - MOEEEESHAAA I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LOVE YOU MORE
  
  
• Leonardo da Vinci
  
  
• Meat Loaf
  
  
• Coretta Scott King
  
  
• Bill Cosby
  
  
• Thomas Edison
  
  
• Dr. Dre
  
  
• David Duchovny
  
  
• Samuel L. Jackson
  
  
• Paul Newman
  
  
• Mr. Rogers
  
  
• Prince
  
  

You basically wish you were as awesome as us!

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed. Well, let's see.
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them.



( Luk how smrt i M )


EDIT: 41 going on 45, eh? I realized most of these books I read before 8th grade. I basically stopped reading when I got to HI SCHOOL.

When I was in first grade the most stressful thing ever was thinking of something interesting to bring to show & tell. Like, I basically spent the entire week running around my house trying to find something cool like a gun or a rock shaped like a state to show my class and tell them about it. One day I found a worm in my backyard and thought it would be pretty awesome to bring in to class, so I filled this huge plastic jar full of dirt and stuck the worm inside. Of course when I got to class it was impossible to see the worm because it was buried inside this enormous jar of dirt, and everyone in the class came up to look for it but we couldn't find it.

When I got home I tumped the jar out onto the driveway, and I searched the dirt grain by grain but I couldn't find the worm. It was just gone. What the hell?



It's 2:22! Why doesn't anyone make wishes at 2:22?

I've been reading this very hilarious, very comforting, and very distracting IB blog for the last, I don't know, stupid long time.

How to Write an IB Paper in 25 Easy Steps

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

3. Walk to the local Starbucks and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.

4. Stop over at a friend’s house on the way back and visit with them. If your friend hasn’t started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you their paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating plastic see-thru folders, drop them.

5. When you get back, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

6. Read over the assignment again to make sure you absolutely understand it.

7. You know, you haven’t written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You’d better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

9. Listen to one side of your favourite tape and that’s it, I mean it, as soon as it’s over you are going to start the paper.

10. Listen to the other side.

11. Rearrange all of your CD’s, tapes, etc. into alphabetical order.

12. Phone your friend and ask if they’ve started the paper yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the IB program, the world in general.

13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

14. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savour its special flavour.

15. Check out the newspaper listings to make sure you aren’t missing something truly worthwhile on TV. Note: when a paper is due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from CSI to Friends is truly worthwhile.

16. Catch the last hour of Law and Order Criminal Intent on channel 8.

17. Phone your friend again to see if they were watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot.

18. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.

19. Look through your album of pictures from the last 15 years. Try to remember who everyone is.

20. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your future.

21. Open your door and check to see if there are any IB coordinators lurking about.

22. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

23. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it.

24. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

25. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

I'm currently on step 18. Pretty psyched!

PS: HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! WHO FEELS FAT AND OBESE RIGHT NOW?!?!

Scenario A) Science may be able to successfully genetically reconstruct a Woolly Mammoth for as little as $10 million.


Scenario B) The new Ice Age movie, now in production, is slated to have a budget of approximately $60 million, or, to put it in relative terms, 6 Woolly Mammoths.







HUMANITY, THE CHOICE IS YOURS.







Look, I know you love Ray Romano and everything, but come on. Fucking, woolly mammoths. Please? Please. Do it for me. For Lara.

I hate how if any band sounds remotely gay, they are always said to be "influenced by Queen". What's with that?

OK I need to hug someone like RIGHT FUCKING NOW but unfortunately everyone in my house is asleep and/or bitter.


I can't really believe it. The world feels very amazing right now.


:D

YEP, YOU KNEW IT WAS COMING.



( cut for partisanship )

/shameless

I made a Barack-O-Lantern!

I get 5-6 emails a day from colleges, usually with subject lines like "Think you can handle this?" or "Hurry! You only have 30 more seconds to complete your application!" They aren't encouraging.

But I just got an email from some random-ass college that I imagine is situated down the road from Courage the Cowardly Dog's house in The Middle of Nowhere. The subject line said "You have impressed us, Lara".

I don't know what I did to deserve that, but I think I feel good about college again!

What does this mean?

My Birthday Plans:

1) Go to School
2) Get Report Card
3) Cry
4) Attempt Soothing Yoga
5) Get Class Ranking
6) Cry
7) Interview at Art Institute with Wesleyan alumni
8) Realize halfway through my fly is undone or something; nervous vomiting
9) Watch Presidential Debate
10) More vomiting
11) Sleep

So I just got done watching the new BBC series called "Lost in Austen", about a 21st century girl who one day stumbles through a door in her bathroom and ends up in Fictional Georgian England - RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF PRIDE AND PREJUDICE OMG. Several hilarious misunderstandings ensue, and the whole thing is basically like the manifestation of every sad Mr Darcy daydream you've ever pretended not to have. It's fantastic! I won't spoil anything, but at one point The Fellow In Question says "Madam, I am well acquainted with Tinky Winky."
It was the greatest moment of my life thus far.

If you have read and enjoyed Pride and Prejudice, seen the BBC miniseries, or even just if you've ever considered swooning at any point in your life, this is the show for you!



~*~

There are a couple of Beatles songs I have never heard. Like, Glass Onion, and Lovely Rita, and Doctor Robert. And I constantly live in fear that I'll accidentally overhear one of them, like at a supermarket or the dentist or something horrible like that. Because I am terrified of the day when the last song ends and I say to myself "Well, I've now listened to every Beatles song ever made. There will never be any more." And that would be... the worst feeling.

Apparently my grandfather never read the last chapter of "Catch 22", even though he'd read it over and over again because it was his favorite book. He just didn't want it to end.

:(

HAHAHAH OHHHOHOHO hahahah ahhhh. I remember watching this, having no idea what it was talking about, then guiltily remembering it a few years later while playing a stolen copy of Dogz 2 on my old 40 lb laptop. MC Disk Protector, you da man! I'm sorry I was hating on your posse.

The waiting is the worst part.


Oh, wait, no, the roof blowing off and the lack of electricity for 2 weeks is the worst part. Yeah definitely worse.